Never Get Angry Again: The Foolproof Way to Stay Calm and in Control in Any Conversation or Situation

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In Never Get Angry Again, he reveals how to see anger through a comprehensive, holistic lens, illuminates the underlying emotional, spiritual, and physical components of anger, and gives the readers simple, practical tools to snuff out anger before it even occurs. Never Get Angry Again PDF Let’s face it: if anger-management techniques were effective, you wouldn’t be reading this book. These clumsy attempts to maintain calmness are usually futile and sometimes emotionally draining. The fact is, either something bothers us (causing anxiety, frustration, or anger), or it doesn’t. A state of calm is better accomplished by not becoming agitated in the first place. When we fight the urge to blow up or melt down, we fight against our own nature. Responsible (soul-oriented) choice leads to self-esteem increasing, which leads to ego shrinking, which leads to perspective widening, which leads to undistorted reality, which leads to seeing and accepting the truth (even when difficult or painful) = positive emotional health leads to acting responsibly Lieberman writes, “We hide behind a carefully crafted façade, and the identity that we build to shield ourselves soon becomes a shell encasing us. Over time, we fall into a hellish gap of unrealized potential, our true self weakens, and we feel hollow inside.”

The book comes straight to the point where Lieberman mentions categorically that to eliminate anger from one’s life, one should see the context, or perspective, or situation that angers a person. We as rational individuals can then see the situation for what it really is rather than what our ‘Egos’ dictate to us. Thus, this book helps one redraw boundaries, quash personality conflicts, and navigate complex relationships to maintain or reclaim one’s sanity and eradicate the breeding ground for anger and frustration. Lieberman is clear; when a person is angry, it means he is close to losing his sanity – which in this book is indicative that a person is losing the ability to see, accept, and respond to his world, which is indeed a loss of nothing else but perspective. What makes some people able to handle life’s ups and downs, the twists and turns, bumps and bruises with steadfast calm and composure, while others become incensed at the slightest insult, fall apart when facing a minor frustration, and blow out of proportion a mild disappointment? Yearning and searching: As we process loss in this phase of grief, we may begin to look for comfort to fill the void our lovedone has left. We might do this by reliving memories through pictures and looking for signs from the person to feel connected to them. In this phase, we become very preoccupied with the person we have lost. Despair and disorganization: We may find ourselves questioning and feeling angry in this phase. The realization that our loved one is not returning feels real, and we can have a difficult time understanding or finding hope in our future. We may feel a bit aimless during this portion of the grieving process and retreat from others as we process our pain.

Lieberman writes, “When we routinely succumb to immediate gratification or live to protect and project an image, we become angry with ourselves and ultimately feel empty inside.” Let’s face it, if anger-management techniques were effective, you wouldn’t be reading this book. You’ve probably tried it all: positive self-talk, punching a pillow, and reminding yourself that no good will come from getting angry. But the next time you feel your blood boiling or you start to fly into a blind range, see how well counting to ten works for you. It’s important for us to take full and complete responsibility for our actions. We must not shift the blame or make excuses—this will only exacerbate the situation. We shouldn’t say, “I got so upset because we did…,” or, “I didn’t think it was a big deal to…” We must not blame the person for anything—his actions or ours—and we mustn’t minimize our role.

Renowned psychologist Dr. Nathaniel Branden wrote about a woman he once treated who grew up thinking she was “bad” and undeserving of kindness, respect, or happiness. Predictably, she married a man who “knew” he was unlovable and felt consumed by self-hatred. He protected himself by acting cruelly toward others before they could be cruel to him. She didn’t complain about his abuse because she “knew” that abuse was her destiny. He wasn’t surprised by her increasing withdrawal and remoteness from him, because he “knew” no one could ever love him. They endured twenty years of torture together, proving how right they were about themselves and about life.3 I was already becoming turned off when the book started talking about "mazel" and how all the challenging situations in your life are your destiny because they're needed for your development, and then I hit the super-religious chapter about trusting in God... I'm sure that is useful to some readers, but not to me. There's no magical force of fate that deliberately matches you up with challenges designed to promote your personal development, and I don't believe in a higher being so there's nothing there to trust. Reading Never Get Angry Again: The Foolproof Way to Stay Calm and in Control in Any Conversation or Situation by Dr. David J. Lieberman Ph.D. – or even taking steps to buy it – does not necessarily mean that one has anger management issues. There are definitely days when we all feel angry, upset, depressed, grumpy or just plain mad at our existence in this world. The goal of this book is how to deal with and understand those annoyances in our lives and how to manage stress and petty arguments. Never Get Angry Again PDF When a person suffers from very low self-esteem, it doesn’t matter how accomplished he appears, he depends on everyone and everything to boost his faltering self-image. The research is clear: A person’s inflated sense of self does not derive from self-esteem, but from self-loathing An essential instruction manual for anger management, but also a detailed work on how to get along with other people.”― Library Journal (starred review)

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The result is the feeling of shame. Lieberman writes, “Shame is our conscious, the voice of the soul that says, I am less because of my actions; it is the painful belief that our behavior makes us unworthy of love and undeserving of acceptance — and by extension, all that we love is neither safe nor secure.” When we suffer from low self-esteem, we’re often afraid that something bad will happen to us after something good occurs in our lives. When fortune unexpectedly smiles on us, we feel anxious because of our sense of unworthiness. To alleviate our emotional tension, we might even sabotage our success so that we can fulfill our personal prophecy: The world is as we predicted. We feel secure because our beliefs—no matter how damaging and distorted—have been reaffirmed. We will be right, even if it kills us. It cuts to the chase presenting simple, concise techniques…useful strategies rooted in basic human psychology and supported by numerous studies.” ― Publishers Weekly on Get Anyone to Do Anything Don’t fall into the trap of believing that a person with an inflated ego likes himself; ego and self-esteem are inversely related. No matter how much a person appears to be happy with himself, if he is egocentric, that person suffers with feelings of inferiority. This statement is not conjecture, but a law of human nature; it is psychological math. Reconstruction and working through. This stage in grieving involves taking action to move forward. You begin to reconstruct your new normal, working through any issues created by the loss.