Wounds of the Father: A True Story of Child Abuse, Betrayal, and Redemption

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A first step is to get to know your father more deeply. What was his childhood like? Was he mistreated or bullied? Was he wounded? Jane group up with a father was away for work a lot. When he was around, he was often hiding behind his newspaper. Jane and his younger brother were often told to be quiet because “daddy” was tired and in a bad mood. Occasionally Jane’s father would drink and then he frightened her. Jane had a friend whose father was often playing with the kids, laughing and joking with them and she wished her father was like that. As a child, she wondered why her father did not like spending time with her and blamed herself. Having difficulty opening up and connecting with others, making it hard to form meaningful, long-lasting relationships and friendships

I started this book with trepidation as not only is it a genre which I have never read about, but up until now, it is also a subject frivolously ignored by me. This sounds very flippant; however, I am sure the majority of parents and young adults who will hopefully read this book, haven't had this kind of experience or have had to live such a tragedy like Elizabeth's. If we can all learn a little something from her harsh lesson, the author's words will never be in vain.Father wounds can leave us with unprocessed grief, which usually manifest as feelings of anger and sadness. Low mood / depression: Over time your anxiety can turn to low mood. On the other hand, you may have internalised your anger towards your father and him being absent and feel depressed as a result. It’s important to remember that these feelings are not universal and can vary depending on individual experiences and coping mechanisms.

Rejection: Feeling unloved or unwanted, leading to low self-esteem, self-doubt, or a constant need for validation. The secondary characters in this book are unbelievable. I most certainly will not tell you who they are as this is a review without any spoilers. But good influences, she has. Bad influences abound too! In fact, I fell in love with her social worker that had more tact than a saint; and her drug supplier? Even though he was who he was, his protective feelings towards her probably saved her from herself. Nevertheless, there is no excuse for his harbouring Elizabeth's addiction. Please remember: You are enough and you were not responsible for your father’s behaviour or choices.Related: Forgiving Someone Who Isn’t Sorry: 9-Step Guide To Free Yourself From The Past #7. Seek Support Either way, it’s important to understand your father’s influence upon your life and heal your wounds. Such statements express regret. But you can’t hold yourself responsible for what didn’t know or couldn’t have done as a child. Start with facts about what happening during your childhood. Write down all the ways your father hurt you or failed you. Write down about how it affected your life.

As a mom, I found myself heartbroken on more than one occasion, as someone who grew up with a totalitarian father in a household that screamed and slammed doors as part of their day to day existence I was scared, and as someone who has watched someone I care about push me away and lie because they were deep in their own addiction it gave me perspective.Related: Best 18 Self Compassion Journal Prompts (+FREE Worksheets) #2. Challenge Negative Messages Anxiety: There could be a combination of things and events that have contributed to you experiencing anxiety. Growing up with an (emotionally) absent father may have left you with a feeling of “I am not good enough” and perhaps you have hidden feelings such as a sense of loss, anger, shame, sadness and anxiety is trying to keep those deeper emotions at bay.

This book does a great job, not just “telling the story” but allowing the reader to “feel the feelings” and follow the logic of the author. Garrison is intentionally open and vulnerable about where she was coming from and presents much of her (at times self-admittedly, skewed) reasoning for the reader to understand her struggles. The first step is to identify and accept that you have a father wound. Next, you’ll want to seek professional therapy to help you work through this trauma. Your therapist may walk you through viewing things through your father’s eyes. Not all fathers deserve forgiveness, but some may. Additionally, your therapist may prepare you to confront your father so you can feel heard and explain the impact his actions had on your life. From there, you’ll learn to disengage from some of the beliefs and behaviors you adopted due to your father wound. You can then make a concerted effort to become an improved version of yourself and credit how far you’ve come. Healing Help From FHE Health Online therapy is also an option. It can be much affordable than in-person therapy, but can be equally effective. ( source)You may feel alone in your grief over your father. That might be true. There aren’t many support groups for father wounds. A father wound can manifest in various emotional and psychological ways, and the specific feelings experienced may differ from person to person. A father wound can leave a person feeling low, depressed or anxious about their parental relationship. A parent is supposed to offer unconditional love, and if you see that others have that, it’s hard to understand why you don’t. Often, this anxiety or depression turns to anger. Individuals may feel robbed of a happy, normal childhood. They may also feel deeply hurt by their father’s actions or absenteeism and grow resentful. Rigid Boundaries