Communion: The Female Search for Love: 2 (Love Song to the Nation, 2)

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Antipatriarchal thinking, which assumes that both women and men are equally capable of learning how to love, is the only foundation on which to construct sustained, meaningful, mutual love.

And the outcome of that work is often the recognition that they would rather be alone than remain in unsatisfying partnerships. Old ideas about romantic love taught females and males to believe that erotic tension depended on the absence of communication and understanding. Ultimately, Bell Hooks presents a philosophy in which loving one’s self is the launching pad that could lead to a myriad of realities.

Like hooks, I've learned to find all the love I need in spiritual practice and community, and while I long for an intimate romantic partnership, I know I will be OK without it. Although it is risky, when we are self-loving, our growing contentment and personal power sustains us when we are rejected or punished for refusing to follow conventional sexist roles. A woman who does not learn how first to fulfill her psychological needs for acceptance will operate from a place of lack. A whole woman that can exist outside of the confines of the bullshit heaped on women and our relationships with friends, lovers, partners and most importantly ourselves.

Another great wisdom gift that women offer to those who have not yet discovered its pleasures is the wisdom that it is better to know the joy of dancing in a circle of love than to dance alone.Females are rewarded more when we experience ourselves and act as though we are flawed, insecure, or especially dependent and needy. She discusses the false idea that women are naturally more loving, showing how this is part of patriarchy, and argues that everyone can (and must) learn to love, optimally beginning in childhood.