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The Best Ever Book of Spurs Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Subs: Theo Walcott, Thierry Small, Dynel Simeu, Nathan Tella, Mohammed Elyounoussi, Wilfredo Caballero, Oriol Romeu.

Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv. Ad Feature Raul Jimenez, Artem Dovbyk and Matheus Cunha all to score BOOSTED to 33/1 with Sky Bet - as Fulham face... Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?" Tommy Fury parties with Chris Brown in Dubai nightclub with fans slamming the boxer for 'dancing to Sweet Caroline in his head' as star goes viral Former Barcelona starMarc Bartra and model girlfriendJessica Goicoechea star onLatin Grammy Awards red carpet prior to the ceremonyTottenham lead Premier League tributes for Terry Venables after their former manager, who won the FA Cup with Spurs in 1991 and led England at Euro '96 Man United fans are convinced Marcus Rashford's return to form is because he reunited with former fiancee Lucia Loi as they praise him for ending barren spell

But on the day his departure was announced, after winning five of the six domestic trophies available to him, chief executive Michael Nicholson labelled the Australian a "great football manager and a good man". I met this really kinky girl last night. 'Humiliate me,' she said ... So I bought her a Tottenham shirt

German bikini bodybuilding champion reveals she must gain 10 KGS before the next champs in Las Vegas Harry Kane reveals the best defender he's ever faced, the Germany star he wished played for England and why Eric Dier is the worst team-mate to sit by on a flight Dominik Szoboszlai downs a shot in the stands after helping Hungary qualify for Euro 2024... as he leads celebrations following win over Montenegro

Man United's Diogo Dalot and fiancee announce birth of their daughter on social media - after defender was released from Portugal's squad SOUL OF SPORT: ANDY HOOPER was at Stamford Bridge to capture Emma Hayes' Chelsea side running riot against Liverpool

3) Out-gunned

The fatalistic Tottenham fans who viewed their superb start to the season as too good to be true had their worst fears realised in this crazy, controversial 4-1 defeat. The dealer replies, "It's voice activated. You tell it want kind of music you want to listen to, and it automatically changes." Marcus Rashford has often turned to England for solace from his Man United woes... but now he faces a growing challenge for a Euro 2024 place Because he’s a Spurs supporter. He always reacts like that when we lose a match. He wants us to win the European Trophy,” the dog’s owner replies.

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" Maybe you won't like this, but even I kid around with PTSD sometimes that way. Even though I have PTSD and I know it's very serious. Even I sometimes joke that something "totally traumatized me" just as a manner of speaking. When you take this personally, it's going to go make you feel bad. But when I say that (and when others do) they don't mean it personally... The remarkable moment Premier League flop Joselu decides NOT to score a tap-in into an open goal during Real Madrid's latest win Emotional Liverpool star Luis Diaz and his crying father are reunited for the first time since he was kidnapped for 12 days in Colombia Only six top-flight managers have been in charge for more than three years, with the league average now standing at about two years.

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Postecoglou's calm demeanour has won him a host of admirers at Spurs and beyond this season, and the time-honoured warning about bumps in the road had been mentioned even before it all went off the rails here. Mauricio Pochettino's empty threat: Chelsea stars fly in helicopters and visit old clubs on day off - hours... Fernando Alonso leaves fans STUNNED with incredible reflexes as the Spaniard takes a sharp swerve at 185mph to avoid loose drain cover in Las Vegas Goal! Watford 0, Tottenham Hotspur 1. Davinson Sánchez (Tottenham Hotspur) header from very close range to the high centre of the goal. Assisted by Son Heung-Min with a cross following a set piece situation. Boxing's A Team! Ed Sheeran sits ringside forKatie Taylor's rematch with Chantelle Cameron in Dublin

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