The Unexpected Joy of Being Single: Locating unattached happiness

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This book is a reminder that life can be pretty shit, but it can also be pretty great as well if we’re willing to look at things differently. If you’ve felt like your life is complete chaos (particularly after a break-up), then this book is an excellent reminder that everyone has uphill battles to face. Sometimes it helps to know you’re not going through it alone, and as cheesy as it sounds — things will get better. Now, I remember that given female life expectancy is 83 for women and 79 for men, even if it takes until age 50 to meet him (or her, if I switch sides, never say never), I will still have 29 l-o-n-g years with that guy (if we are the same age and he dies right on schedule). 29 years! I mean. The longest relationship I’ve ever managed thus far was three years, and it was hard to even keep that alit, so that 29-year hypothetical relationship is going to be a humdinger of a challenge. I can wait. Is fine.” I don’t know yet, but that is the hallmark of addiction, that flashing neon sign in your brain that blinks and fizzes and demands MORE. That moves further away, every time you inch towards it. That you’re always trying to reach, and never successfully get to. It’s an ever-moving destination.”

When you first meet your partner, they're amazing, everything's fresh and new and wild. But you inevitably ‘hedonically adapt’ to them. Even if you're dating Liam Hemsworth or Mila Kunis. So as long as you know that no matter who you're with that's going to happen, then you can adjust your expectations.” In The Unexpected Joy of Being Single, author Catherine Gray is single and happy at the end of her story. She even realizes that she would still be happy if she stayed single for the rest of her life. For someone with her inauspicious beginnings, that joyful perspective on singlehood was totally unexpected. Most of us are living average, normal lives. We have these flashes of extraordinary moments but they don't last very long... most of [life] is workaday and a bit humdrum and pedestrian. So why not embrace the joy of the ordinary? We've got nothing to lose.” Being thankful for the little things can be life-changing we’re held up by the scaffolding of the stories we tell ourselves. Without that scaffolding, we feel insecure, wobbly, like we’re a building that’s about to rumble to the ground.”It’s no secret that most people spend at least a chapter of their lives single. Maybe you’ve recently gone through a rough break-up? Or perhaps are just simply enjoying the independence singledom brings — whatever your situation, there’s a few aspects of single life that are fairly universal. From wondering if you’ll ever meet the right person to embracing a new identity, there’s a million different highs and lows. So, while the ins and outs of everyone’s situation is unique, there are a few inspiring books about being single that everyone should make a point of reading. It’s not a self help book, but a collection of statistics and evaluations and personal experiences which are so relatable.

Catherine Gray is an award-winning writer and editor who has been featured in the Guardian, Stylist, the Telegraph, Grazia, The Lancet Psychiatrist, Mr & Mrs Smith, BBC Earth, Women's Health, Stella, T2, Private Eye, Woman's Hour and BBC Breakfast. Even though this book is supposed to be for all genders, it is most definitely written with straight, white women in mind, which makes sense because it is written by a straight, white woman. This is not a criticism of the book, just a word of caution that it will not apply to everyone's experience. There is a lot more to being single and dating to what is discussed here. Many people are under the impression that being single is some unfortunate thing that happens to us, but what if it’s a conscious choice we make? This memoir from a 40-year old single woman will resonate with people of all ages. This is the perfect read for independent women who love their own lives and don’t feel the overwhelming need to couple up. It was also fun reading a book by a writer who is the exact same age as me; I was loving all the cultural references which I could so relate to.I am so glad I read this book (on a whim, because of a rail replacement bus), and I will certainly be revisiting it and recommending it to anyone who will listen. Single in your late twenties or, hold the phone, in your thirties or beyond? Oh hi! You're in the right place. Catherine Gray quotes from Alain de Bouton: "Only once singlehood has completely equal prestige with its alternative (coupledom), can we be sure that people can be free in their choices." Six years ago I was suicidal. When I quit drinking I was still very low so I started researching how to change that. I kept coming up against gratitude and ‘finding beauty in the everyday’, and even though my Britishness was like, ‘that’s way too cheesy and twee for me’, I gave it a go. I joined a gratitude group on Facebook and started writing gratitudes every day and it completely turned my mental health around. Being single for an extended period - or for life - can be incredibly empowering, fun and emancipating.