This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships

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There are also some factual errors (ex: the percentage of Americans who identify as Christian is not nearly 83% or whatever he claims, at least not in decades…) and there is definitely a note of “I’m not a bad guy! I’m a great guy! I WAS a jerk but you can’t judge me for that because look how much I understand now! Did I mention I’m really a good guy??” Being from the Midwest myself, though, I think that’s a common affliction for guys this age. They reeeeeally want to be admired and thought of as good and moral at all costs. Irresistible by Joshua Paul Dale delves into the surprisingly ancient origins of Japan’s #kawaii culture and uncovers the cross-cultural pollination of the globalised world 🦊 Many people think that once you get married, there’s no more need to sit down and talk about your relationship. This is false, and one of the main reasons that marriages end. Being able to sit down and discuss your relationship is vital, especially in marriage. I borrowed bits and pieces from blog posts that captured certain ideas. I shared new personal stories about my own life and, with permission, the lives of several of my coaching clients. And to the best of my ability, I attempted to lay out the way I believe good people are inadvertently bad at relationships. I attempted to tell the story about how two people who genuinely love one another can erode trust in their blind spots, slowly papercutting their marriage or long-term relationship to death.

You should attempt to re-express your target's position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, "Thanks, I wish I'd thought of putting it that way."P211 as long as men collectively believe that The Things You Must Do to Have Healthy Relationships are "girl things," then I think heterosexual marriage is doomed. Relationship experts, and therapists who specialize in helping marriages stay strong, have compiled a list of reasons why marriages end. Recognizing the things that go wrong in a marriage will help everyone in the long run. Being aware of the top reasons that marriages end is the best way to make sure they don’t. Here Are 6 Things That Can End Marriages 1. There’s no communication about the relationship I have really mixed feelings about this book, perhaps because it caused such mixed feelings about my life. I bought the book after stumbling upon the author's article, "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By the Kitchen Sink." I have been on the other side of the dish argument for decades, now, and, impressed that he had given the matter enough thought to begin to see the problem, I was interested in what else he had to say. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counseling couples, This Is How Your Marriage Ends exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong. We simply haven't been taught any of the necessary skills, Matthew explains. In fact, it is sometimes the assumption that we are acting on good intentions that causes us to alienate our partners and foment mistrust. Matt Fray bravely takes us on a tour of the male brain in relationships and how we can become our own worst enemy. By doing so, he reveals why we (men and women) get it wrong so often and what we can do to fix it. The truth is that when it comes to complex matters of the heart, we often don’t take the time to recognize the role WE play in conflict, and too often invalidate each other without truly understanding how our actions impact the person we love. This Is How Your Marriage Endsis the book we have been waiting for – an entertaining, honest, and truly practical guide for saving our relationships.”— Justin Baldoni

Puts words to the human experience in a way that allows us to feel not only witnessed, but also to have hope rise from our all-too-common relational tragedies' I thought this was an interesting take, especially since it was written by someone who is divorced and obviously living with a lot of pain and regret. Biggest takeaways for me are: Fray's disarming personality and the sharing of his own story make people feel like they're not being judged ... His stark message: Don't end up like me'

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The amount of sexism and misogyny in the book is incredibly uncomfortable. He seems to think that since he only "used to" believe these horribly sexist, misogynistic things about his ex-wife that it is OK to repeat them over and over again to demonstrate his point (literally dozens of times). One night during his divorce, after one too many vodkas and a phone-in-therapist's advice to 'journal his feelings,' Matthew Fray started a blog. As he tried to piece together how his ex-wife went from adoring to angry he realised that even though he was a decent guy, he was kind of a bad husband.

He invalidates the request / tells his wife why she is wrong (e.g., it makes sense for me not to put my cup in the sink or “why does it matter? Is this work getting upset over?”) One husband's confession you might be tempted to hand to your other half next time he does something infuriating' Daily Mail And I think we can do better. With more awareness. With better habits. With improved relationship skills. The overall thesis he argues throughout is that "good people can still make bad partners". This is due to how we aren't actually taught these fundamental skills in school or anything. As a result, people [in romantic relationships] accidentally hurt one another and betray each other's trust without either partner being aware of it till it's too late--there is an accumulation of tiny betrayals. The failure to identify the root cause of this "dooms us to repeat the same behaviours in future ones."

The author also seems to be very honest in his reflections of where he failed and was a shitty partner, to the extent that I can't but agree with the chapter where he mused that it's a wonder his ex-wife married and had a child with him in the first place. However, it's impressive growth that he's undertaken since then, so you gotta give him credit for that. MATTHEW FRAYis a relationship coach, writer, and"theman who coaches husbands on how to avoid divorce" ( New York Times).His writing has been featured in HuffPost, The Sunday Times, the New York Times, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ridehas a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. I get what this guy is trying to convey that he (and many men) should step up to be more accountable and ownership, but he shouldn't place all the blame on himself. His ex-wife was somewhat responsible of the divorce. I'd say it was 80/20. Not 100/0 like he's taking the martyrs role and going to die on his hill alone for the sake of responsibility and to get likes on his posts.