Communion: The Female Search for Love

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I realized that every time I quoted this book during the reading of it, every friend would be like — yo, can I read that after you? All the conversations I’ve had with women and my female friends, so many insights were given into those conversations at a much higher level here. I’ve officially become the friend on some: ~well, bell hooks says..~ LOL! As we leave behind the stuff of the past that is mere burden, the relationships that bind rather than set us free, as we experience a change of heart, we develop the inner strength necessary to journey on the path to love, to make our search for love be a grand life adventure and a profound spiritual quest. Along the way we do find soul mates, true friends, life companions. We find communion. Another great wisdom gift that women offer to those who have not yet discovered its pleasures is the wisdom that it is better to know the joy of dancing in a circle of love than to dance alone. While a romantic partner and/or soul mate may bring us joy, we add that joy to love already shared with all those who are truly primary in our lives -- the circle of people to whom we turn, who turn to us -- knowing that they will find us eternally there. No matter how sweet the love between two people, we ask too much if we demand that this relationship and this one other person be 'everything.' The truth we hold close is that 'love is everything.' And because love has this power, it is always there within us, within those we love. It offers to us the possibility of ongoing communion." If any female feels she need anything beyond herself to legitimate and validate her existence, she is already giving away her power to be self-defining, her agency.

Buy Communion: The Female Search for Love (Love Song to the Nation) pdfAdvertising eBooks Buy Communion: The Female Search for Love (Love Song to the Nation) pdf Maybe include more women, though, I get she's writing for women over 30, mainly women who love men, and stuff. That's cool. . .I probably feel a bit more "sad" afterward reading this to be honest. It didn't give me the same feeling of power/energy to love like All About Love did—what were my illusions? is it ok to be guarded? is it time for me to leave the office and go home? (20 more minutes) bell hooks is a feminist theorist and writer and this is part of a group of books she wrote about love. This one examines love from a female perspective, delving deeply into feminist theory, where feminism both succeeded and failed, and the utter importance of learning how to love for everyone (not just women). She discusses the importance of loving yourself before you can love anyone else, and the fact that love cannot exist in patriarchal relationships. She discusses the false idea that women are naturally more loving, showing how this is part of patriarchy, and argues that everyone can (and must) learn to love, optimally beginning in childhood. Um, but anyway, so it’s, uh, even though it’s very feminist and rooted in a kind of critiquing patriarchy, the whole sense of this book really is that people are just people; men and women aren’t that different. It’s not men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. We all just wanna have a kind of connection and feel love. Um, and the kind of how we’re all, um, limited and being able to do that by our culture and society and, um, kind of some suggestions for overcoming that. So I highly recommend this just for general reading. I mean, especially like my best friend who is reading this, if you’re someone who’s really been struggling with your romantic life, um, this is a really fantastic book. Um, just five stars recommend everyone. I think everyone should read this. Um, and I will be continuing with, um, bell hooks, his other books about love, so she wrote a kind of a love trilogy. This is the third book. Um, I mentioned in my November TBR video that I will be continuing with the other two books in the trilogy.The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. In "Outliers," Malcolm Gladwell argues that it takes about 10,000 hours of practice become an expert at something. hooks says that most women only start to really excel at the art of love in midlife, and this has been my experience; only now am I really learning to love myself, and to approach all relationships with an open heart and a deep commitment to acting at all times with care, respect, and responsibility. I am only now beginning to love myself and others with deep knowledge of what it means to be human.

In this case, the power structure being scrutinized is patriarchy, a power structure that degrades, dehumanizes, mutilates, maims, and destroys the bodies of women, and does so through sexualized violence. Sexualized violence renders violence invisible (a quote from Gail Dines). Which is also to say: sexualized violence renders dehumanization invisible. As Andrea Dworkin consistently points out, regarding rape culture and the patriarchy, the message of sexualized violence, no matter what horrifying thing is being done to any individual woman, is always crystal clear: "She wants it. They all do." The victim is always to blame. "She wants it. They all do." i just loved how she talk about the importance of mutual love built on respect, responsibility, accountability, etc. because care alone is not enough. also one of my fav quotes “Making a relationship “work” is not the same as “creating love.” Dominator culture has tried to keep us all afraid, to make us choose safety instead of risk, sameness instead of diversity. Moving through that fear, finding out what connects us, reveling in our differences; this is the process that brings us closer, that gives us a world of shared values, of meaningful community. kitabın kendisine gelirsek, ben sevgi arayışı, sevginin ne olduğu/olmadığı, neden inatla bu kadar önemli olduğu konusunda bu kadar düşünmemiştim. tabi ki annelerimizin bizi çoğunlukla sevgileriyle istismar ettiği, babalarımızın da bizi sevmeyerek istismar ettiği bir gerçektir, bunun farkındaydım. ama kitapta kendisinin de bahsettiği " güçlü görünmek adına çok seviyor görünmemek" "sevgisiz de yaşanır diyen" kadın profilinin bu kadar sık göründüğünü, çoğunluğumuz için bunun mesele olduğundan haberdar değildim ( bir uzaylı kendim sanıyordum). kadınların birbirini sevmesinin, özellikle tehdit olarak görmeden sevmesinin ne kadar önemli olduğunu, kadınların özellikle birbirine sahip çıkmasının kıymetli olduğunu düşünürüm ben de. o sebepten kitap bitince sanki bir kız kardeşime sarılmışım gibi oldu. kadınların okumasını, üzerine düşünmesini tavsiye ederim. To build community requires vigilant awareness of the work we must continually do to undermine all the socialization that leads us to behave in ways that perpetuate domination.I’m just throwing that out there. Um, in terms of tone, this book is amazing. It’s essentially a very candid conversation from like a close female mentor was kind of how, how I was feeling it. It’s like, this is the sort of female mentor that I wish I had in my life who could just sit down maybe with a glass of wine and just very lucidly. And candidly, just say like, this is how the world works. Um, and like here’s, uh, here’s what you should do in response to it. Um, so I think that style is just really lovely. It makes this book very easy to read, even though it’s talking about some really tough topics and really complicated topics. Um, her writing is just so simple and clear and beautiful that you can just follow her message consistently. Idea of a "coming out process" to yourself for realizing/believing/identifying yourself as straight, sharing same process as those who had to consciously come out as queer (p. 35)

I don't know a whole lot about feminist theory, but what I learned about it here I found fascinating. hooks' treatise on love is passionate and positive, and goes a long way to build up strength and determination in readers. Finally, she raises this idea that feminists aren't truly ready for "the new men": We demand that men change, and when they do, we are often not ready to affirm and embrace the liberation we claimed to desire.Published in 2002, "Communion: The Female Search for Love," by bell hooks/Gloria Watkins, is an excellent nonfiction title by this prolific and deeply insightful author.

The one person who will never leave us, whom we will never lose, is ourself. Learning to love our female selves is where our search for love must begin. I also liked the way she tore into our culture's devaluation of platonic and queer relationships: In heterosexist, patriarchal culture, the only commitments that are deemed truly acceptable and worthy are those between straight women and men who marry.I would have abandoned Communion at the first chapter if it weren't for a book club I wanted to attend. I'm glad I finished it even though I didn't really enjoy it. A lot of generalizing statements in here. I'm not interested in her use of "most women" and "we." bell hooks will be like, "MOST WOMEN had fathers who left them which is why WE seek out men who are emotionally unavailable." This happens throughout the book. Here's another one: "Lesbians, like all women, come from families where dysfunctional behavior. . .were the norm" (p. 203). Lol, whenever she mentions lesbians, it feels like a polite afterthought. D/c. aThe soul seeks communion -- Aging to love, loving to age -- Love's proper place -- Looking for love, finding freedom -- Finding balance : work and love -- Gaining power, losing love -- Women who fail at loving -- Choosing and learning to love -- Grow into a woman's body and love it -- Sisterhood : love and solidarity -- Our right to love -- The search for men who love -- Finding a man to love -- For women only : lesbian love -- Lasting love : romantic friendships -- Witness to love : between generations -- Blissed out : loving communion. i82534925 |b1130003244989 |dpc |g- |m |h12 |x3 |t2 |i2 |j2 |k140216 |n06-01-2023 19:09 |o- |a305.409 |rH784 When truth teller and careful writer bell hooks offers a book, I like to be standing at the bookshop when it opens." -Maya Angelou really really enjoyed this one. i realized i have read basically zero books about feminism???? fail!